The Ungrateful Refugee: What Immigrants Never Tell You Paperback – 18 August 2020
by Dina Nayeri (Author)
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars (569)
A timely, provocative and personal examination of the refugee experience.
Aged eight, Dina Nayeri fled Iran along with her mother and brother, and lived in the crumbling shell of an Italian hotel-turned-refugee camp. Eventually she was granted asylum in America. Now, Nayeri weaves together her own vivid story with those of other asylum seekers in recent years. In these pages, women gather to prepare the noodles that remind them of home, a closeted queer man tries to make his case truthfully as he seeks asylum and a translator attempts to help new arrivals present their stories to officials.
Surprising and provocative, The Ungrateful Refugee offers a new, complete narrative of resettlement, and re-calibrates the conversation around the refugee experience. But above all here are the real human stories of what it is like to be forced to flee your home, to journey in hope of a better, safer life, and, for the lucky few, the struggle to start afresh in a new culture.
384 pages
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About the Author
Dina Nayeri was born in Iran during the revolution and arrived in America when she was ten years old. She is the winner of a National Endowment for the Arts Grant and the UNESCO City of Literature Paul Engle Prize. The author of two novels - Refuge and A Teaspoon of Earth and Sea - and contributor to The Displaced, her work has been published in over twenty countries. Her stories and essays have been published in The O. Henry Prize Stories, Best American Short Stories, the New York Times, Guardian, Wall Street Journal, Granta and many other publications. She lives in London. @DinaNayeri | dinanayeri.com
Product details
Publisher : Canongate PBS
Publication date : 18 August 2020
Edition : Main
Language : English
Print length : 384 pages
ISBN-10 : 1786893495
ISBN-13 : 978-1786893499
Item weight : 256 g
Dimensions : 12.9 x 2.3 x 19.8 cm
Best Sellers Rank: 360,236 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)77 in Emigrants & Immigrants Biographies
1,251 in Social History
6,891 in Sociology Reference
Customer Reviews:
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars (569)
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The Ungrateful Refugee: What Immigrants Never Tell You==
From other countries
Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Raw and authentic
Reviewed in Canada on 29 November 2022
Verified Purchase
If you want the nuanced truth that most newcomers don't share with their new host country, this is the book for you. I have such respect for the author to document her unvarnished, often startling, truth. I learned a lot, including how I can interact more sensitively and respectfully with newcomers. Thank you.
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B. Decker
5.0 out of 5 stars Thought Provoking Read
Reviewed in the United States on 4 February 2023
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
I read this book after having read her brother Daniel's book "Everything Sad is Untrue". Her brother's book has many of the same elements of their personal story but is overall quite a different book. By the way, his book is excellent and I recommend it. I've bought a few extra copies to give away, liked it that much.
I liked this book as well but for different reasons. She does a wonderful job of interweaving her story with the story of other refugees. In some ways it is entertaining as the stories are full of suspense, drama and often tragedy. But then you remember these are not fictional stories. These are things that really happened. So for me it was very sobering and along with her brother's book made me think more deeply on refugees. In some ways it changed my views and in others it deepened my current feelings (all in positive ways). It made me want to explore ways I could assist in a small way in the refugee community. The book opened my eyes and heart to other ways of thinking.
Without knowing the author personally, so only going by her words in the book, I think we come at many topics from a very different point of you and may disagree on solutions to issues. While we'd agree that something needs to be done on a variety of topics we may disagree on the best course of action. But I got the sense that while she is someone who is passionate and holds some strong views, she is someone who is willing to listen and hear other points of view. Is willing to change her stance on something if she receives better information or is shown another vantage point. In this day and age when so many people refuse to listen, refuse to believe there is another way to look at something I find this refreshing. There are a few ideas put forth and viewpoints with which I disagree, but that's ok. Overall I really liked the book.
Definitely recommend this book. Just be prepared to be challenged. But that's a good thing, as either you may change your view on a point or you may learn more about your current view and decide it is correct after being challenged. Either way, you'll be thinking.
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Abdullah Abbas
5.0 out of 5 stars Informative
Reviewed in Germany on 12 January 2022
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
It is a really nice book especially if someone is interested about the hardships, problems and discrimination the refugees face after coming to western countries. A least known but very important aspect of refugees lives were covered in the book
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stanretoma
5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding but troubling
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 23 January 2025
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Not a book review but suffice it to say this story is remarkable. All the media hype about refugees and asylum seekers coming to Europe/UK cause dem to read this. yes, it is a single story but she goes where we can't and visits the camps on Lesbos etc. Heartbreaking. I highly recommend the book if you are willing to be challenged.
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Wallace
4.0 out of 5 stars the secret life of refugee's
Reviewed in Canada on 12 December 2021
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Assuming that this is a common response for refugees it opened my eyes to what they experience in a new country, If there is a take away , for me it was the lack of understanding by refugee's of how the citizen's of their new country feel about their arrival here.
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L
4.0 out of 5 stars Must read
Reviewed in Germany on 11 August 2021
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
This book it is a must read. Everyone who does not understand or critics refugees crises should read it.
The only thing I did not enjoy that much is the last episode when I feel the author rambles on a bit about herself. The rest of it, when she tells her own and other refugees stories, the criticism from society that they face, the difficulties they go through to escape whatever threatens them in their countries, how their life is put on hold while they wait for asylum and the humiliation they go through during all the interview process... chapeau.
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Peter Hutton
4.0 out of 5 stars Very moving story, though last section somewhat unfocused
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 22 September 2019
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
Excellent read up until the last quarter when it rather rambles. So buy it for the first three quarters!
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Liz
5.0 out of 5 stars Important book.. well written.. not always easy but worth it!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 24 September 2021
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
This came highly recommended and didnt disappoint - the start and end were harder to read but so important to as well (I dont think its meant to be an easy palatable topic!).. the stories woven into the book were gripping, sad, tender, joyous in parts and are rarely told like this. It isnt a quick read but definitely worth it!!
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Peggy
5.0 out of 5 stars Exception book!
Reviewed in the United States on 11 January 2026
Verified Purchase
Well written. I have a much deeper understanding of the refugee experience than ever before and far more compassion.
Thank you for this gift
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TaraNYC
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read! fascinating and beautifully written
Reviewed in the United States on 5 September 2019
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
Dina Nayeri is a gifted writer who has the unique capacity to stir your emotions and keep you turning her pages. Her attention to detail makes this work a joy to read and characters spring to life. This story is brilliantly crafted and provides a unique perspective that will open hearts and minds. I will be gifting it this holiday season!
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Rebel Book Club
5.0 out of 5 stars Powerful personal story and explanation of the refugee crisis beyond the headlines
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 19 November 2020
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
Behind news front pages lies real stories, real suffering that we can’t just brush away and move on to the next topic. This book very eloquently addresses people’s complex identity and search of safety.
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KayD
3.0 out of 5 stars A great start that became hard going.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 November 2021
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
I really enjoyed most of this book. It raised important issues that I was not aware of. The start of the book about the lives of the author and other refugees was really interesting and so too was the author's analysis of the stages of being a refugee. But it became very introspective/philosophical and hard to follow. I still haven't finished it - but I hope I will.
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Ponce
3.0 out of 5 stars What Every Refugee/Legal Immigrant Must Know
Reviewed in the United States on 19 September 2022
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
While Dina Nayeri's book is well-written, I do take issue when some of her conclusions.
Every refugee or legal immigrant must bear something in mind: they must remain grateful to the country that welcomes them in, and they must respect its traditions. The crimes and abuses perpetrated by the theocratic government in Iran are not the fault of the United States. Questions pertaining to how these mullahs took over the country ultimately reside with a large portion of the Iranian people.
It is obvious that Dina Nayeri is not a fan of President Trump and his policies. But there are many Americans -- myself included -- who agree with him for building the wall around the Southern Border. The number priority of any U.S. president is to protect its own citizens.
Moreover, Dina Nayeri's criticism of Western values and pinning the blame on its White citizens is unwise. The mere fact that most White Americans voted to elect an African American president to two terms in office demonstrates clearly that they do believe in Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s dream of judging others by their character and not by the color of their skin.
Rather than assimilating into American society, Dina Nayeri wanted to change it. She has no right to do this. I guess she also reached the same conclusion, and this explains her decision to move to another country. Great decision!!!
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NJ
5.0 out of 5 stars A fantastic read!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 September 2019
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Dina Nayeri’s new book offers a fascinating insight into her story of leaving her home in Iran and growing new roots in the USA. A fantastic read!
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Beverly Fitzgibbons
5.0 out of 5 stars A stark look at both the initial and long term struggles of refugees
Reviewed in the United States on 22 June 2021
Verified Purchase
This is such an important book for anyone who might volunteer to help, may come in contact with or wishes to learn more about refugees. I read it on my kindle and now plan to buy a hard copy. I am 81 and years ago ran a refugee resettlement program where I worked with many volunteers. This book could have given us useful insight into not only the hearts and minds of refugees but to the struggles they faced before coming to the U.S. It is a stark look at the suffering of refugees in camps around the world and a reminder to all of us of our many blessings. While the book concentrates mainly on Iranian Christians and those fleeing political persecution, it is a guide to the plight of all refugees. I highly recommend it!
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gradstudent11
4.0 out of 5 stars I first read Everything Sad is Untrue…
Reviewed in the United States on 10 June 2021
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I wanted to hear Dina’s story after reading Everything Sad is Untrue, her brother Daniel’s book. I am a Christian and his story was one of the best works I have read in my entire life. He described his sister as the smartest person he has ever met. The two writers are opposites in almost every way. Daniel is warm, funny, a great story teller, likable and lovable. Dina is guarded, calculating, complicated, and OCD but most sad to me is that she seems to have renounced her Christian faith as an adult. Comparing the two books would be like reading the gospel of John (Everything Sad…) and then reading Ecclesiastes (Ungrateful Refugee). Her story is actually great- the goal of her writing is honesty and she achieved it. But because she no longer loves the Lord you get the sense that all of her hard work is meaningless (“vanity, vanity, all is vanity”). Toward the end, Dina also seems to pin all her hopes on her young daughter which makes me sad. Her work telling the refugee stories changed my perspective for sure, but Daniel’s story was really a heart- and perspective-changing story. His gratitude to Jean and Jim and the Pringles they fed the kids is what makes me want to help refugees. Ungrateful may be how exactly how Dina feels but it is not what would inspire me to help others.
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G
5.0 out of 5 stars An imperative read; passionate and compelling.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 7 September 2019
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Compelling tales, expertly woven together. Nayeri's powerful prose bring to life what it truly means to be displaced.
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Kate
5.0 out of 5 stars I could not put this book down!
Reviewed in the United States on 5 September 2019
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
I have read both of Dina's works of fiction, "A Teaspoon of Earth and Sea" and "Refuge", and was so excited to read her first non-fiction work. The combination of her personal story and the stories of others resonated powerfully with me, and left a deep emotional impact. I am definitely recommending this book to friends and family and look forward to discussing the incredibly relevant themes and messages with them.
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 September 2019
Format: KindleVerified Purchase
Beautifully written and so important to read in the current climate.
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Janet Morrison-Lane
4.0 out of 5 stars Important read for today’s times
Reviewed in the United States on 2 April 2022
Verified Purchase
I feel like this book should be on a must-read list…especially in today’s times. It was a difficult read for me…I think because I work with a lot of refugees. It was hard to hear the struggle and hard to read accounts that reminded me and helped me learn things that, as an American-born person with no refugee experience, I am probably doing wrong that that may be hurtful/harmful to people. I watched the documentary Flee while reading this book. While I strongly encourage that (it truly parallels a lot of what Dina Nayeri says in here), the two together made it even heavier. This book is a favorite of a friend of mine who was born in Iran and who, also, came to the United States with refugee status. I am anxious to hear her talk about why this is her favorite and how it speaks to her.
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K. H.
3.0 out of 5 stars Didn’t keep all of our interest
Reviewed in the United States on 2 December 2022
Verified Purchase
Dina Nayeri in THE UNGRATEFUL REFUGEE uses personal flashbacks of the trauma associated with leaving a country she did not want to leave as a refugee to share insights and difficulties that individuals deal with when trying to seek asylum.
Our book club read this book and all agreed that we learned different things about the refugee process, experience and even the variety of approaches based on the country the refugee entered. We all agreed the stories are important and need to be part of a larger conversation. That conversation requires listening and trust. As a group we agreed that we need to think differently about refugee vs. immigrant status. We also agreed that learning more about the refugee will go a long way to making the asylum process less traumatic and lengthy.
The story making up an individual refugee's history truly never has an ending because they are constantly adjusting their story to fit into what we think it should look like wherever they are.
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Chiseke Chiteta
4.0 out of 5 stars A book to read to give you an idea of the life of an immigrant.
Reviewed in the United States on 31 May 2022
Verified Purchase
Took me almost a month to get through this book. It is an eye-opening account of experiences of people who have had to leave their countries for various reasons. The writer is a former refugee which gives this book depth.
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Crystal K.
3.0 out of 5 stars Great writing, hard to follow
Reviewed in the United States on 19 February 2022
Verified Purchase
The author is obviously a fantastic writer. The book started out great and then I felt it lost structure. She jumped from one person to another, one time period to another and it was hard to follow. As an European, it also irks me when Americans get obsessed with reminding us of where they went to university and how many degreee they have.
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hilal isler
5.0 out of 5 stars brave
Reviewed in the United States on 16 January 2022
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
i stayed up about 3 hours past my bedtime last night, because i kept 'one-more-chapter' -ing my way through this book...written with fantastic skill and smarts...can't recommend this more. dina nayeri is a gifted writer and tremendous thinker. she has gems and bars for days and days. five stars !!
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Frances W
5.0 out of 5 stars Pageturner
Reviewed in the United States on 5 September 2019
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
Sadly my time spent reading has gone to the wayside due to hectic schedules, but this book has me staying up to read just a little bit more and carrying it around in my bag for work commutes. The storytelling is mesmerizing, the topic timely, and I have laughed and cried (sometimes in public). Highly recommend to everyone, whether a voracious reader or someone who reads 1-2 books a year. Well worth the read.
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William Stewart
3.0 out of 5 stars Hard to follow
Reviewed in the United States on 21 February 2020
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
There were moments in the book where I couldn’t put it down. Then there are moments I feel she moves away from the main story and I wasn’t sure where she was going. The books goes back and forth from different time periods and different stories of other refugees. Hard to follow at times. Overall a good book but not one I would read again.
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HC
5.0 out of 5 stars Poignant and thought-provoking
Reviewed in the United States on 6 September 2019
Verified Purchase
Such a beautiful, haunting book! Dina’s prose is eloquent and elegant, so the book is a wonderful read for the beauty of the words alone. When you factor in the deeply personal perspective she shares, it is even more stunning. She has opened my eyes to new ways to consider these important issues. A must read!
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A.F.
5.0 out of 5 stars Timely, riveting, powerful.
Reviewed in the United States on 6 September 2019
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
This is a moving, important book, and it is absolutely riveting. I am reminded of the stories told to me by my mother and grandmother about their journeys out of Eastern Europe, and in these trying times, this story needs to be heard. I could not put this book down, and you won't be able to either.
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Jessica
5.0 out of 5 stars INCREDIBLY important
Reviewed in the United States on 5 September 2019
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
This moving book is one of the best I've read this year. The author does an amazing job of weaving her life experiences with firsthand stories to help people really grasp one of the most important issues of our time. Buy several--you're going to be passing this out to your friends for a long time.
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Drago Indjic
5.0 out of 5 stars better condition than described
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 July 2023
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
It was in a better condition than described
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